


Tower on a Hill

by miragoat



Category: Warcraft (2016), Warcraft - All Media Types, World of Warcraft
Genre: Khadgar is trapped, M/M, evil kirin tor, savior Lothar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-11 06:46:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7880602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miragoat/pseuds/miragoat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he was just a boy, the Kirin Tor had seen something in him, some kind of magical potential beyond what was expected for one his age.  It wasn't safe, they'd said, for him to be out in the open.  He would be used, they'd said, as a weapon to anyone who thirsted for power, and who was he to know who to trust or how to resist when the time came?  His parents, like all parents, feared and respected the Kirin Tor, and they saw no reason to question the requests that the boy be given to their care.  And so he'd been taken into custody at the age of six and locked in the tower, where no magic could work within the walls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fear Everything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SebastianStan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SebastianStan/gifts).



When he was just a boy, the Kirin Tor had seen something in him, some kind of magical potential beyond what was expected for one his age. It wasn't safe, they'd said, for him to be out in the open. He would be used, they'd said, as a weapon to anyone who thirsted for power, and who was he to know who to trust or how to resist when the time came? His parents, like all parents, feared and respected the Kirin Tor, and they saw no reason to question the requests that the boy be given to their care. And so he'd been taken into custody at the age of six and locked in the tower, where no magic could work within the walls.

It was all he'd ever known.

Most days, he read. He had no shortage of books; the Kirin Tor, oppressive though they were, supplied him with texts on every subject from alchemy to the arcane to the art of military strategy to Azeroth's history. He found solace in knowing that he would never run out of books, and that no harm could come from them. Soon, though, curious as he was, Khadgar grew restless, and reading books about Azeroth turned into wondering what could be waiting for him in Azeroth, and _that_ turned into begging Archmage Antonidas to let him out on the rare occasions that he saw the mage.

“The world outside is full of terrors that will rip you apart if you set foot outside of this tower,” Antonidas lectured him. “We keep you here to keep you safe! Letting you out would render years of containment a waste of time!”

“But what could be waiting for me that is so terrible?” Khadgar asked. “Please, Archmage. Tell me what you fear, what _I_ should fear, and I'll never ask to go outside again.”

Antonidas looked at him with blue eyes that missed nothing. “Fear everything,” he said, and then he was gone.

 _Fear everything_. The words flowed through him day after day, and he longed to pick them apart, to understand what Antonidas truly meant, but there was no _substance_ to the words. Perhaps the mage had done it on purpose because he didn't need to know. Perhaps the Kirin Tor still knew what was best for him; after all, they were exposed to the outside world, and he hardly remembered it.

If they were exposed, though, didn't it mean that there was no real danger for them? Wouldn't that mean the same for him, or did they think him too weak to adapt to a hostile environment?

He longed to practice his magic, but the magic that protected the tower where he was held also restricted his magical abilities. Khadgar knew the theories, of course, but _understanding_ something and _practicing_ it were different things and he wanted to be able to use magic to defend himself if the time ever came for him to leave his tower. He hoped he would have the chance some day, even if it was dangerous.

That was when he heard the sound of a horse-drawn carriage passing the tower. That was when he got an idea, a _good_ idea. In fact, it was such a good idea that Khadgar questioned his intelligence for not thinking of it sooner. Of _course_ there was a way to know what life was like outside of the tower. He could just ask the people outside. It wasn't like they could hurt him from here. But the road was far away, and he needed to get their attention first.

He took a piece of parchment and smoothed it out. Whatever he wrote _had_ to be good. What would cause someone to come closer? He chewed absently on the tip of his pen. “East tower, a mile from the road, two at most. Come to me. I humbly request your aid.”

He used what little magical ability he had to propel the letter far enough to be seen on the road. He knew that the spell should anchor the letter, so that it wouldn't blow away before someone happened upon it. He hoped that their curiosity would draw them to the letter, but he couldn't know yet, not in the dead of night when no one was likely to be traveling except for those who had the luxury of carriages and special coaches for their horses. Like Antonidas had said, the world was a place to fear.

For now, it was a waiting game, and oh, how Khadgar knew the anguish of waiting.


	2. Commander

It wasn't an hour past dawn when Lothar set out to ride the ill-kept dirt road his sister had traveled only hours before. He was not unused to riding early, even in his armor; it was the nature of his duty as commander of Stormwind's forces. What irked him was that it was not military business that demanded this trip, or even diplomatic services, but a meager errand for his demanding queen of a sister. Typical.

The road twisted for miles through the countryside. It was calming to be alone, as much as he cared for his men. It gave him time to simply _be_ without commanding, without being an example. It had been a long time since he first became commander, and he was used to the job, so used to it that it was almost like breathing. Easy. Taria abused that, he thought as he spent the morning on his horse. Then he saw it: a rolled parchment, tied with a fine red ribbon, resting in the middle of the road. He jumped off his horse to pick it up. Perhaps it would hold some interesting content.

 _Who loses a letter in the middle of the road, especially one like this? Maybe a woman looking for a man to give her company._ Lothar smiled at that and untied the ribbon.

“A mile from the road...” What could it hurt to venture that far? He always loved the part of trips when he got to venture on his own. He mounted his horse and rushed toward the wood, determined to find the sender of the letter.

The tower was settled on a hill in the midst of the wood. It was plain, with dull gray brick stretching toward the sky. Lothar could just make out a lone window at the top floor of the tower, and the paned window was open, but it was too high for him to see what might be inside even from the top of his horse. Despite it being unadorned, it was _huge_ ; someone, or something, of great importance was kept here. What could it be? Military supplies? Some king's hideaway? The base of some secret operation?

“Is anyone there?” he called. His voice carried well, another benefit of military experience.

For a moment, there was no sign of movement, and Lothar wondered if he had made some mistake. Then a head peeked out of the window, but the face was not what Lothar was expecting.

It was a _man's_ face, if he was even old enough to be called a man. He could see the beginnings of dark facial hair, he was sure, but it was a sadder start to a mustache than even Callan had managed. His face was still boyish, and he had a surprised look about him.

“My note worked,” he gasped.

“ _You_ sent it?”

The young man nodded his head. “I didn't know if it would work, but I had to try. I heard a carriage, and I've never met someone from outside, other than the Archmage that is. I've always wanted to find someone to talk to, but it's impossible from up here, you know-”

“What, you can't come down? Did your stairs collapse or something?”

“No, nothing like that.” He sighed. “I'm trapped in here, you see. I was locked in a long time ago. Magically, that is. My keeper is from the Kirin Tor. He says that the world outside is dangerous. He says that I should fear it. Could you tell me if that's true, if the world is really like that? How bad can it be if you're here on your horse in your fine armor...” The color rose in his cheeks. “I'm sorry. It's just that I've never talked to another person who isn't the Archmage.”

A pang of anger coursed through Lothar before he understood what the kid said. _The Kirin Tor just locked him up like a criminal?_ There had to be more to the story than that. People didn't just lock other people away. “Why would they lock you away? Don't lie, because I'll know.”

“No, no, of course I won't lie to you! They brought me here because it's not safe. Because I wasn't safe. I don't understand why, and I can't get them to tell me, but they don't want me to get hurt by anything outside of here. I've been here since I was a boy.”

Lothar crossed his arms. “Why should I believe that a powerful faction like the Kirin Tor would concern themselves with a single mage's safety?”

“Oh, I'm not a mage. I mean, I want to be, and I've read a lot of books on magic, but I can't do it here. I don't know what they want with me, really I don't. All I know is that the Archmage is in charge of my keeping. Could you please just tell me what it's like outside, sir?”

Lothar took a deep breath. He supposed that it couldn't hurt to tell the kid whatever he wanted to know, as long as it was nothing that would put his kingdom in danger. “What do you want to know?”

“Is it safe... out there? Are you happy?”

“Yes. No. Safe enough most of the time. We've been at peace for years now. The armies still train, but they're more for domestic use than anything else these days. I won't say that there aren't dangers, robbers and rapists and thugs of every sort who prey on the weak, but it's not worth being locked away in some tower over, not when you can learn to take care of yourself.”

“You're trained to fight,” the young man guessed. “Armor like that is like what you see in illustrations in books, the sort of armor that kings wear.”

“Not kings,” Anduin corrected. “Maybe the brother-in-laws of kings, but kings have finer armor than this.”

“You could teach me to fight,” he said, his voice barely audible in the faint breeze. “If I ever escape, you could show me how to survive. I would be safe with you. Antonidas would see how safe I was, and he would _have_ to let me be free. Could you help me?”

“No.”

Tears welled in the kid's eyes. “Why? Why can't you help me?”

“Do you think that I have time to jailbreak you and train you? I know now that you really _have_ lived in that tower all your life. I'm the commander of the Stormwind army. My sister is the queen. I have important things to do. Lots of them.”

Khadgar hung his head. “I know that I can't pay you, and I know that I'm not as important as an army or a king, but I'm alone here. Maybe someone like you doesn't know what it feels like to be alone, but I hate it. _Please,_ sir... commander.”

“Fine. I'll bring some rope with me next time and I'll see if I can break you out of there. Just never call me 'sir' again or I'll change my mind.” He gripped his horse's reins; there were errands to be done for Taria. “And by the way, kid, don't think that I don't know what it is to be lonely. Everybody knows.”

With that, he reluctantly left the boy alone in his tower to wait for his return.


	3. Ladders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lothar attempts to rescue a man in distress.

Over the next week, Anduin trained his troops as he always did, and he toured the principalities of Stormwind at his king's side to boost morale as was commanded. At night, when he'd done his duty to his king, Llane discarded the crown and was once again his friend and his brother-in-law, and they dined on roast lamb and fresh fruit as they always did. In all senses, life had not changed, but Anduin felt different even when he wasn't afforded time to think of why, and at night, when he lay alone in his bed, he knew the cause.

He had to rescue that kid.

It chipped away at his indifference like dents in his armor, knowing that somewhere not so far away, someone so young was being held hostage. Worse still that it was all for nothing. Anduin considered himself to be an upright man; he cared for his people, for Stormwind, and he did what was right, even if the cost was high. He had to uphold those standards now, or what kind of champion would he be?

He took care to pack the materials he was sure he would need: a grapple, a rope ladder, a wooden ladder, a first aid kit (you never could be too careful), two bedrolls (it was a long journey to Stormwind) and enough food to last until the end of the trip. It wasn't a heavy load, but the ladder alone was enough to call for a wagon. He strapped on his armor with care.

“You're leaving early.”

Llane's voice startled Lothar. “I told you that I had plans. Is there anything you need me to do while I'm gone?”

The king of Stormwind clasped his shoulder. “You've done more than enough, Lothar. Do what you need to do. I do have to wonder what's got your attention.”

Lothar looked up at his king. “I swear to you that I will explain everything when I return to you. Let me do this; that is all I ask of you.”

“Take all the time you need.”

Just like that, he was on a mission with the king's support.

 

Khadgar's heart soared when he saw the familiar armor shining in the sunlight. It was rare for him to have something to be excited about, but now he had someone to talk to. It didn't hurt that he was _handsome_ too, with thick dark hair and a muscular body. He'd seen beards before – Antonidas had a beard, after all – but he'd never seen a beard like this man's, thick and black and well-trimmed. A strange excitement rushed through him. He didn't want it to go away.

“You brought a ladder,” he breathed.

The man extended the ladder's extension and took care to angle it toward the tower. He kicked at the ladder. “Should be stable. I'm coming up.”

Khadgar smiled. “I hoped you'd come back. I was careful not to pack too many of my things in case Antonidas came this week. Of course, he didn't come. He never does unless I need new supplies here.” He lowered his gaze. _But you're here now._

He watched as Lothar climbed the ladder and neared his window. He was drawing closer, and he could see Lothar's face, the striking blue eyes that watched him as he pulled himself toward the window. Then his grip became weak as the ladder changed from sturdy wood to something like rubber, and like that, Khadgar's savior was toppling down.

“Light, are you alright? It must be spelled to keep you from coming in.” Khadgar leaned toward the window, helpless. “I'm so sorry.”

He heard the knight groan. “I didn't realize you'd be such a hassle.”

“I'm so sorry, really I am. I didn't know that it would hurt you. Maybe you should just leave...”

“I'm going to get you out of there somehow, even if I have to search for answers. Don't you give up just yet, kid.”

Khadgar sighed. “I don't want to hurt you. It's not worth it. Besides, what hope is one man against the power of the Kirin Tor?”

At those words, the man grinned. “Believe me, the Kirin Tor is nothing next to what I have. Give me time.”

He started to pull the ladder away, and Khadgar's heart was racing. He would be left all alone again. “Please... don't leave. I don't even know your name.”

He glanced up at Khadgar. “I have to leave if I'm gonna get you free. Don't try anything stupid while I'm gone. The name's Anduin Lothar.”  
_Anduin Lothar..._ Light, how he hoped the man would return.

 

Lothar's body ached all over from falling to the ground, but he couldn't bring himself to blame the kid. Even as the boy asked him to stop trying, he knew that he would do no such thing, for he had made a promise, and Anduin Lothar was nothing if he did not keep his word. When the boy mentioned the Kirin Tor, Lothar realized that he was not the solution.

 _Medivh._ He would go to Medivh, and the Kirin Tor would know that nothing would stop him from releasing the boy. He would save him. He just hoped that the kid would wait that long.


	4. Rule

As Anduin neared the citadel, he was filled with a familiar kind of dread. The rock formation was oppressive, and it seemed to have grown out of the rock after some crater (maybe magical in nature) blasted away the gloomy hillside and left only the rough gray passage behind. Even the sky seemed darker as Lothar rode through the pass, reigns held close to his chest, his right hand at the hilt of his sword.

As he looked toward the skies, a flock of buzzards swarmed, cawing their warning to any who would come close to the structure uninvited. Lothar was cautious, but not afraid. As he saw a bird unlike the others swoop toward the ground, he drew his sword. The bird, a raven, was near the ground when it exploded in a brilliant display of blue and violet light so bright that Lothar’s eyes burned looking at it. Then came the shadows to snatch the light away, and out of that stepped a man cloaked in feathers and silk.

Medivh always had known how to make an entrance.

“Thank the Light you’re here,” Lothar sighed. As impressive as Medivh’s displays of power were, Lothar knew the tricks well, as old friends grew to know each other’s sense of humor. “I never know where I might find you.”

Medivh studied him. “You want something from me. What?”

 _Leave it to Medivh to skip the pleasantries._ “There’s this boy not far from our westmost garrison. He’s trapped in this tower not far from the road. I tried to climb up to get him, but there’s some strange magic that keeps me from entering. It turned my ladder to rubber.”

“And you want me to fix your ladder?”

“I want you to break the curse so that I can get him out!”

Medivh smiled. “Ah. I should have known that you would find some young man in distress. I cannot offer my help.”

“What? Why?”

Medivh gave him a _look_ that would have silenced most men, but pressed on when he saw that Anduin was no closer to giving up. “I do not know why he is trapped or who might have put the spell in place. I do not know his character. Frankly, I fail to see what you will do when you are no longer his savior and you grow tired of him, and I will not put myself in a position where I become the other option.”

Lothar rolled his eyes. “It’s not like that. I just don’t think it’s right to have him trapped in there. He’s so young.” He pauses, thinking that maybe he has something to entice Medivh. “He says it was the Kirin Tor.”

Medivh raised a brow. “Kirin Tor, you say? And why would they concern themselves with a lone boy?”

“I’d like you to find out. If there’s any truth to what he’s said, it would be your job as Guardian to help me.”

He held up a finger to silence Lothar. “I will _investigate_ , but do not take my interest as a promise. Where the Kirin Tor is concerned, this must be handled with care. I have given them more than enough icy treatment through the years; the last thing we need is to draw their attention without provocation.”

Lothar nodded his agreement. “As long as you tell me what you find.”

“Very well. Leave this place. It’s time that I pay a visit to Antonidas.”

 

It was well past dusk a week past Anduin’s visit when Antonidas finally decided to pay Khadgar a visit. He was lying awake thinking of the knight and wondering if he would truly find a way to free him when he heard the familiar swishing of the archmage’s robes as he walked through the tower. For the first time, Khadgar was filled with loathing. What right did Antonidas have to come and go while Khadgar stayed behind?

His door creaked open and from the sliver of light that came through, Khadgar could see that Antonidas was peering into his room to see whether he was awake. He sat up.

“I’m awake,” he said to the old man, not knowing whether he wanted him to come closer or to stay away forever. His emotions had been ever more confusing as time went on.

Antonidas crossed the room and sat on the chair at Khadgar’s bedside as he had many nights before. His face seemed harsher in the faint light, Khadgar thought. “You should keep a stricter sleep schedule,” the archmage said.

“I can’t imagine what need I have for it,” Khadgar said. “I enjoy looking at what stars I can see from this window.”

“You have a dozen comprehensive astronomy charts.”

“And what good are they to me, Antonidas, when I can never apply them? You sit me here and tell me not to trouble myself with why I’m stuck here, and then when the mood strikes you, you bring me books and scrolls and vellum and hope that it is enough to fill the emptiness I feel here, but it’s not. It never has been. Surely you knew that one day this would happen.”

Antonidas gave him a reprimanding look. “It doesn’t matter what you think or what you feel. You’re here, and you’ll remain here. You haven’t talked to anyone, have you?”

Khadgar shook his head.

“You wouldn’t lie to me about something like this?”

He shook his head. “You always told me that deceit is poisonous.”

“And so it is. Understand this: you belong to the Kirin Tor. I rule the Kirin Tor. I have your best interests in mind when I keep you here, and I know that this is difficult for you to understand, but I know what is best for you. You are mine to keep, and I have kept you well. There shall be no other way. You know that.”

 _Rule,_ not _lead_ , Khadgar noted. It was such a little thing, but there was a difference in the way he spoke now. The words _mine to keep_ sent an unpleasant chill down his spine, and he wondered exactly what benefit Antonidas got for keeping him locked away.

 _I will find out what binds this magic, and I will reverse it myself somehow if I have to._ He bowed his head in reverence to Antonidas, but on the inside he was boiling, ready to put to use all of the cunning the man said he had. He would learn to regret keeping Khadgar in the tower, of that much Khadgar was sure.


	5. Extra Measures

When Antonidas refused to admit to hosting the boy, many mages would have considered that enough of an answer to make them turn away and doubt the source, and when his demeanor turned colder as each question was answered, many mages would have feared insulting his dignity. He was, after all, the most respected member of the Kirin Tor, to be feared and respected by all.

Medivh was not so gullible.

He saw it in Antonidas' eyes the first time he asked about the boy. His words were smooth as he reassured the Guardian that no one was being forcibly held by the Kirin Tor, but a hint of apprehension flickered in his eyes. From that moment the energy in the room shifted, and Medivh felt the deceit rolling off the old man as he attempted to hide his misdeeds. Pathetic.

It was unusual for a Guardian to be lied to, but one so clever as Medivh could catch anyone in a lie, and Antonidas was a poor liar. Some part of Medivh wanted to tell Antonidas that he _knew_ , and how foolish did he have to be to attempt to trick the most powerful man on the planet? But he didn't; he was a guest, after all. Instead he leaned forward and let his stare burn holes in the mage while he fumbled and swore innocence until the time came for Medivh to go.

“He refuses to admit that the boy exists,” Medivh told Anduin.

“I believe the boy, not that old man,” Lothar said, every inch the defensive protector he was often inclined to be.

“As do I, but our belief does little. I will need you to test the spell that protects the tower. See how it responds to force. Test what the boy can do from the inside. If he is associated with the Kirin Tor, he will be able to record the data so that you may bring it to me in a form better than your desperate retellings.”

“Why can't you test it yourself?”

“Because Antonidas will search for traces of my magical imprint after my visit. You have no magical element to leave for him, and the boy will do little damage from inside his tower. If you leave no tracks, he will be safe. That will not be the case if his jailer discovers a Guardian at his door.” He paused. “If this boy is worth it, this should be no problem for you.”

“He's not the problem. If Llane and Taria find out what I'm doing-”

“Do not pretend that Llane cares what silly personal choices you make. You will have to suffer your sister's questions if you proceed. Do not tell her the truth, though, Lothar. No one can know about the boy.”

“How horrible he must feel, being hidden all his life like he's something shameful. I _will_ free him, whatever it takes.”

“Just don't do anything rash.”

He realized a moment too late that it was Anduin Lothar he was talking to.


	6. Taking Inventory

He has always been a fan of research, so when Anduin tells him that he has to record their attempts to surpass the magical barrier protecting the tower, Khadgar is delighted. He imagines that real mages at the Kirin Tor do things like this, test things and study them and test them again until they're satisfied with the results, and Khadgar is lucky enough to have a partner like Anduin Lothar to aid him. The warm feeling he gets when he sees Anduin threatens to overwhelm him, but he tells himself that he must be attentive or the notes will be useless to whoever needs them.

“How does your Kirin Tor captor get into the tower?” Anduin asks him as he assesses the stone, looking for some sign of a door.

“He teleports, I imagine. The spell is his, so he's probably set it to let him through.”

“A tower without a door, that's great. Write that down, would you?”

Khadgar scrawls _likely no door_ into his notes. “I know that your friend wants me to put magical pressure on the window, but the truth is that I don't know much magic.” He pauses to set his notes on his desk. “This friend isn't with the Kirin Tor, right?”

“Nope.”

“Are you sure?” Khadgar leans against the window frame. “Because Antonidas came here while you were gone, and he seemed like he knew that someone was here.”

“Look, my friend hates the Kirin Tor more than anyone I know, but he had to question Antonidas to be sure that you were telling the truth. Of course, he didn't admit to anything, but now we know that he's a liar, and we can bust you out if you cooperate and take the notes.”

Khadgar sighs. He knows that no one else can test the inside of the tower, but he fears what might happen if he attempts to cast a spell inside such a small space. Antonidas always said that magic was volatile by nature, and that he shouldn't bother with it...

“Did you say that Antonidas lied to your friend?”

“To his face. Does it matter?”

What else had Antonidas lied about over the years? Khadgar had always suspected, but his affection for Antonidas had kept him from testing his limits because Antonidas was all that he had and he couldn't lose the man's approval. He has Anduin Lothar now, and Anduin is different than Antonidas in every sense, young and vigorous and handsome and _loyal_. That's what he wants to align himself with. Damn Antonidas for wasting his time.

He focuses and feels the tingle of magic course through his fingertips. He presses it toward the window, and it spills out toward the ground like a rope on his command, though it's weaker than he would like. “Pull that if you can,” he calls to Anduin.

The arcane rope snaps. Of course it does.

“Write it down,” Anduin says.

“It went through the window. That's more than we had before. Maybe if I really practiced every day-”

“We don't have the time for maybe,” Anduin snapped.

 _Magic from inside the tower flows out. Given the chance, would magic from the outside flow in as well? At the least, we have a one-way shield._ “Antonidas thinks that he can keep me from casting spells forever,” Khadgar says. “He deceived me into thinking that it was dangerous. That makes this tower vulnerable from the inside, although I suspect that my magic is weaker than it would be from out there.” He throws the day's notes down to Anduin.

“I have another job for you,” Anduin says. “Not sure you'll like it, but it could help us break into your tower.”

“I'll do anything.”

“Good. Convince Antonidas that you have no desire to leave.”

Khadgar looks at him strangely. “You want me to _lie?_ ”

“He lies, why can't you? Tell him that you've realized that the world is a dangerous place. Tell him you heard men on the road cursing and threatening each other and it terrified you. Tell him you never wanted out, but you were so lonely that you brought it up, and try to schedule a visit with him in the next week. I don't care what you say, but make it good. If you don't sell it, he won't believe it. That means that part of you has to believe it. Do you understand?”  
Khadgar shakes his head. “When he came and asked me if someone was here... it was the first time I've lied to anyone. I don't know if I can mean those things. I want to be free, but I'm not afraid anymore. I hate Antonidas for what he's done, locking me up here and lying to me.”

“Light, kid, you'll never see the outside of that tower if you can't lie.”

It surprises Khadgar that Anduin is so adamant about something that he knows is wrong. “You're honest,” he says.

“I'm honest,” Lothar agrees. “Not everyone is. That's your first lesson from the outside world. Don't expect honesty from people who lie to you.”

“I'll do it,” Khadgar says at last. “I want to see what he does when he realizes that I'm smarter than he expected. I want it to eat him up that he underestimated me for so long. That's not a pure goal, but it's all I have.”

“Good enough for me. Listen, I'll be back as soon as I get some answers. Light be with you.”

“Light be with you.”


	7. Children Must Obey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khadgar sells his lie to Antonidas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. I'm trying to keep my update schedule despite crazy IRL things. I need to add a note, though, for your comfort.
> 
> TW: Violence. Just stop once they get to bed if you don't want that. It's not rape, I promise.

When Antonidas comes, he is ready. His brown eyes are red from all the crying he's done, and he's wrapped in his quilt, half-written letters strewn all around him. He can't think of a more pathetic image to present, and he wonders whether it's convincing. He doesn't imagine that any lie of his would trick someone like Antonidas, yet when the old archmage enters his room, his eyes widen at the sight of the boy in his bed.

“Light, boy, what's happened to you?”

 _I have to make him believe it,_ he tells himself. _Anything to make him believe._ Tears stream down his cheeks. “I'm so _sorry_ , Archmage! I heard all that you told me, but I thought that I knew best! Now I've ruined everything!”

Antonidas' eyes were not unkind as he studied Khadgar. “Tell me what happened and there may be some hope yet.”

“Oh, it was so _stupid._ After all you told me, I should have listened. I should have known that you would never do anything to deceive me, but I doubted. I sent a letter to the road, and this traveler came to meet me. For a time, all was well, but then he insisted that I come to the outside world. I told him it was impossible, but he wouldn't listen. He brought his mage friend to help him, but they grew angry at each other, and the mage slew him. You warned me, but I didn't listen, and now that man's blood is on my hand. I can't live with that.”

Khadgar buries his head in the pillow and bawls his eyes out, grateful for the spell he found in one of the stranger books Antonidas lent him over the years. The archmage lays a clammy, wrinkled hand on his shoulder. “Come now. You cannot hold yourself responsible for what other men do.”

“They were at _my_ tower trying to get to me! That's why I didn't tell you. I couldn't, or you might let me free, and I'd have to find my way among those, those-” He takes a shaky breath and sits so that he might look Antonidas in the eyes. “Do you hate me, Archmage?”

“I am shocked that you disobeyed me.”

He rises so that he is on his knees. “I beg you to forgive me. I know that I have earned punishment beyond my imagining, but I had no way to know, Archmage. I was only confused. I felt unworthy. I never understood why one so powerful as you would concern yourself with my keeping. Please forgive me. Let me stay here all my days so that I never have to see such atrocities again.”

“Children must obey their elders, Khadgar. You never understood. No one will provide what I have for you; no one can care for you as I have. All these years I protected you, and yet you boldly disobeyed me. I should move you so that no one will ever see you again.”

“Please, let me stay here. Use your magic to hide this place from outsiders, place stronger barriers, do anything you need to do, but this is the only home I've known.”

“I am the only _person_ you have known, yet that meant so little to you.”

“I was wrong, Archmage, to think that anyone would give me what you could not! It was a grave mistake, and one I shall never repeat! Hear me and know that my words are true. Look at these letters I tried to write you while I was overcome with guild; each tells the same story! I cannot bear to see you angry at me!”

He looks at Antonidas, and he feels all the hatred he's ever felt toward the man overcoming him. He clenches his jaw. His hands tremble. Antonidas takes it for grief and pats Khadgar's arm. “Very well. I will give you one chance, but no more after that.”

“Stay here with me, Archmage, just this once. I can hardly sleep. I have nightmares that they return to avenge me. Please.”

Antonidas agrees, and Khadgar is overcome with shock. He is still as death as the man takes his place on Khadgar's bed. Khadgar prays to the Light that no part of his body will touch Antonidas', for surely being so close to him will break the illusion. He must look like he is remorseful. He must prove himself. When he wonders if Antonidas is asleep, the mage speaks.

“No one is more dear to me than you, Khadgar.”

“I am honored.” He fights to keep his voice even.”

“If I seemed wrathful earlier... If I upset you...”

“I cannot talk any more, Antonidas. Even thinking about it exhausts me. Please, let me be.”

Night wears on, and the steady rise and fall of Antonidas' chest is a silhouette in the faint moonlight. Khadgar takes a long look at the mage. Antonidas is surely asleep, he decides. He knows what he must do.

He holds the pillow tight to Antonidas' face with more strength than he knew he had. Soon, Antonidas wakes, and he is thrashing wildly, grasping at Khadgar, trying and failing to utter some spell. Of course, he can't. His mouth is unable to work the words, and the panic that sets in as he gasps for air has left him unable to think clearly.

“This is for deceiving me,” he says. Tears fall from his eyes as Antonidas falls limp. He knows from his reading that he must wait longer for Antonidas to truly be dead, but he feels the weight of what he's done setting in. This was Antonidas, the closest thing to a parent he's known, the one who fed him and brought him books and visited him. The one who trapped him.

He will be free by morning. He only needs to wait for Anduin Lothar to return before he can begin his new life, a life where he will be free. This time, nothing stands in his way.


	8. Nowhere Else To Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khadgar makes his escape.

It was a strange feeling, the guilt that kept him awake in his exhaustion. He had never felt guilt before, and now it was as if a lifetime of owed guilt was coming on him all at once. That was how it was supposed to feel, he supposed, when you kill someone. _This is what keeps men civilized._ He stared at the limp once-man and wondered if there was anything he could have done to keep it from reaching the point of violence. He knew that Antonidas would not be reasoned with, but that didn't make it right.

 _Anduin had a plan and I went and did this without him. Now he may never forgive me. I may never forgive myself._ Despite all he had done, despite the loathing that Khadgar still felt, this had been _Antonidas_ , the one who cared for him since his youth when his parents dumped him in the care of the Kirin Tor. After all those years of accepting his care, he'd just, just...

Khadgar decided that his only escape without knowing a teleportation spell would be the window. He never imagined himself climbing out of the tower without someone holding him to make sure that he did not fall, but he knows that every second that Antonidas is in the tower is another moment that someone from the Kirin Tor might come for him, and he knew that he could not explain himself to them even if he tried. He draped a makeshift magical rope from the window and slid down it, and though it strained to hold his weight, it did not snap. At least he could do that much.

As he stumbled toward the dirt road, he realized that he didn't pack a single change of clothes, a blanket, or a map. He never felt more foolish than then, staring at the seemingly endless stretch of road, unsure of where he might go or what he might do without Anduin Lothar to aid him. He longed to see Anduin, yet how could he face someone as good-natured as Anduin after what he'd done? He would have to find his own way.

“Stormwind is the southernmost kingdom,” he recited to himself. “Beyond that, somewhere that no one has the privilege to know, is the Guardian's citadel, where the greatest mage ever to live dwells.” Perhaps it was time to pay the Guardian a visit. If the Guardian couldn't help him, he could at least put him out of his misery.

_South it is, then._

 

Medivh was not typically inclined to sit in his yard like some lounging dandy, but on this occasion he made an exception, as one would when expecting visitors. Indeed, this would be no ordinary visitor, but someone he was dying to know. He'd caught a glimpse in a vision over his poor excuse for a breakfast: the young captive of Antonidas' would find him, and he would be waiting for the boy. No word of this was sent to Lothar, for Medivh knew that it was better if he got a feel for the boy first – his judgment was more sound than his old friend's, after all, and he would not allow Lothar to waste his time on one who did not deserve it.

Medivh is not concerned that the boy will not find the way, for he knows that everyone who is sought by the Guardian will find him in time. As if fated to do so, the boy arrived in his yard before sunset. He was just as Medivh had expected, young and weak with terror in his eyes and a fresh face that made him seem even worse off than he was. _Of course Lothar would feel compelled to save him._ Medivh felt no such sympathy.

Khadgar bowed when he saw him. Actually _bowed._ “I am here to see the Guardian,” he says.

“What business could you have with the Guardian? What could be so important that it brought you to Karazhan instead of the violet city of Dalaran?”

“I cannot go to Dalaran,” he admitted. “I came here because I have nowhere else to go and I don't know what to do.”

“Very well, fugitive. I will here you if only for my own amusement, but do not think for a second that you can deceive me as your master did.”

The boy flinched at that. “I wasn't his apprentice. He never taught me a thing.”

“He would not lie about your existence if you didn't serve some purpose. Make no mistake; Antonidas may have lied, but I saw the truth behind the lies.”

“If you saw the truth, then you know exactly what role I played in Antonidas' life, a small role which I was only able to escape with his death. That's why I came to you. I killed him. I need to atone for what I've done.”

“Atone? I am no priest. Let us instead forget your silly guilt and find the real reason that you were locked away for so many years. That at least has some intrigue.”

Medivh nodded toward his citadel. The boy's eyes were filled with fear, and he hesitated even when Medivh put a guiding hand on his back. Of course the boy would be afraid. At least he had some intelligence, then.

“If I meant to lock you inside, I would not need to coax you. Come along.”

 _Medivh_ may have meant “keeper of secrets”, but on this day, he would reveal them instead.


	9. And For That, You Will Suffer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Medivh helps Khadgar uncover secrets of the past.

_He has been the most powerful mage_ _in Dalaran for as long as he can remember. There have been pretenders, of course, lesser men and women who thought that their promise would outshine him, but one by one, he has clawed and stunned his way through them until only he remains. There is a council, but they mean nothing and bow to his opinions like they are made of wax. It is better for them that way. He does not need to hurt them._

_Sometimes, when the magic is too much for him, he has dreams, visions of things that were and things that are and things to come. Most are harmless; some help him cement his place as a supreme figure with the many kingdoms that stretch through Azeroth. This one, however, is darker._

_He sees himself at the edge of Lordamere Lake, where he often goes when he needs to think. His robes are the deep purple of the Kirin Tor, and his beard is longer, whiter than before,_ _and new age lines_ _stretch across his face, but otherwise h_ _is face was not so dissimilar from the one he saw in the reflecting glass. He follows himself along the coastline, wondering, always wondering what he might learn from the vision. From Lordaeron, a young man approache_ _s_ _him. That was odd. Antoni_ _da_ _s does not have relations with Lordaeron often despite its closeness._

 _The young man_ _i_ _s so handsome that it t_ _akes_ _Antonidas' breath away. His dark hair fa_ _lls_   _into his eyes, dark eyes that sparkle with the liveliness of youth. His full lips form a smile when the boy c_ _atches_ _sight of Antonidas. Perhaps the boy_ _is his lover. Antonidas knows that he is not his apprentice, for he would never deign to take an apprentice. The idea of a lover is less strange. Some have showed interest over the years, men and women desperate for power or hungry for admiration, but none have been so stunning as this man._

_A lover it would be, then. Sex’la ros._

_The boy draws closer to him, and Antonidas’ future self eyes the boy openly. It is not the boy’s body that the present Antonidas sees. It is his mouth, which moves faster than any non-mage’s would, arcane words spilling out of his mouth before Antonidas can tell what they are. Then his future self is falling to his hands and knees, desperately gasping for air as the boy watches him, his face impassive._

_His future body cannot withstand the spell. He falls to the ground while the boy stands above him._

_When he wakes from the vision, his body is drenched in sweat and he is sure that he has a fever, but this was no mere fever dream. Antonidas does the one thing he knows he can do: he plots. The boy will not overtake him. He will take him before he has the power necessary to kill anyone, pluck him away from his home and lock him away so that Antonidas is all he knows. The boy can rot for all he cares, so long as he can stop his inevitable end. He casts a tracking spell and balks as he sees not an armed enemy but a boy who isn’t old enough to walk, let alone murder him._

_“You will be too powerful,” he says to himself, knowing that he may never say the words to the boy. “And for that, you will suffer.”_

 

 

Khadgar stared wide-eyed at the place where the vision of the past had been. Medivh was at his side, and the boy clutched his arm as if he were afraid that letting go would render him unable to stand.

“That’s why he locked me away, because he feared my power? I can’t even cast a teleportation spell; how could I possibly be capable of killing Antonidas?”

“You ask that a day too late, I think. Antonidas foresaw his own death, just not the death you would give him.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Antonidas saw his demise. Everything that once happened will happen again; his death was inevitable. He thought that locking you away would prevent his death, but instead your captivity served to motivate you. Such is the order of things.”

Khadgar nodded at him. “I see. I still don’t know if I can live with this _guilt_. If Anduin finds out about this, he will never speak to me again, I’m sure of it, and even if it _was_ Antonidas, and even if it _was_ fated, that doesn’t change what I did.”

“Anduin has blood on his hands. One more death will not soften him. You will remain here. As much as I would like to see you gone, I cannot let a mage with no real control or understanding of his power wander Azeroth. Here you will learn more than the Kirin Tor would ever teach you, for there was always one capable of stopping Antonidas, one man who was stronger and wiser than he ever was. That would be me.”

Khadgar was stunned into silence, as he should have been. Medivh surprised himself, even. There had been dozens apprentices at his side before, and they had perished one by one. He had a great deal of blood on _his_ hands, not because of revenge but because his nature, despite his title, is destructive. He understands now the power that Khadgar yields, senses it from within the deeper reaches of his magical instincts.

He should have known before. He should have guessed. He should have been wiser. More cautious. More attentive. He shouldn’t have let the boy rot away after Antonidas had shown him. He should have been what a Guardian was supposed to be; he should have protected him instead of scoffing at Lothar for trying.

He should have, but he hadn’t. Keeper of secrets, indeed.


	10. Never To Look Back

Anduin knew from the moment he approached the tower that something was very, very wrong. He didn’t understand it, but something in the air felt different, unsettling. He approached the tower with his sword drawn and circled the building. That’s when he saw the open window. Something was terribly wrong, and he was unprepared.

“Kid! Are you in there, kid?”

Moments dragged on and still there was no response.

He was glad to have the ladder in his supplies. Ever the prepared soldier. He checked to make sure that the ladder was secure, then he climbed up the tower as he had once before, terrified that he might see that some harm had come to Khadgar. How could he live with himself if he was too late to save him? Would he ever view himself the same way? He was the reason that Antonidas knew that someone was visiting; he was the one who had given Khadgar hope of escape when the situation was beyond his control.

He climbed through the window with ease – apparently men who had magic at their disposal weren’t so concerned with structural fortifications. When he came in, what he saw made his jaw drop. Crumpled paper littered the tile floor. Lothar bent down to pick one up, and there was a remnant of a letter, a letter to Antonidas. That couldn’t be a good sign. The smell was overwhelming, a familiar smell that he couldn’t dare to believe. He quickly found the source: the dead body of an old man on the bed, dead long enough to need buried.

 _What has Medivh done to him? Worse, what has he done to Khadgar that his resting place is on the bed?_ He shuddered to think. He had to find Medivh, and soon.

He didn’t bother to grab his ladder before he took off at full speed to Deadwind Pass. What difference did a ladder make when Khadgar could be hurt? What need did he have for a ladder when he had nowhere left to climb? Lothar couldn’t believe that Medivh would act without warning him. It was just like him.

Medivh was waiting for him in Karazhan’s entrance hall, clad in his scarlet robes and wielding the magical staff he called Aetish. When he saw Anduin, he took a step forward. “I did not expect you back so early-”

“Where is he?”

“Excuse me?”

“The kid, where is he? What did you do with him? What reckless decision led you to leave the tower without disposing of that old man’s body?”

Medivh had that look in his eye that Lothar knew meant that he knew something more. “Now is not the time for me explain it to you. You need time.”

Lothar shook his head. “That’s not enough for me. I want to know, and I want to know now. I trusted you, and you betrayed my trust. What were you thinking? Is this a game to you where you can gamble with human lives at your leisure?”

“I did it.” The voice he heard was not Medivh’s. Behind him, Khadgar descended the stairs, dressed in plain traveler’s clothes. He looked older this way, away from the confines of the tower, but still so very young around the eyes.

“Pardon?”

“I killed Antonidas. He came to visit me and I thought for sure that it would break the spell. I lied to him like you told me and then I killed him when he was sleeping.”

No, it couldn’t be true. The kid simply wasn’t capable of it. He was too young, too unprepared to bear the burden of taking a life even for the best of reasons. “No. It couldn’t be you.”

“Please listen to me. I didn’t want to do it. I can hardly believe I did. Then I came here because I didn’t know where else to go, and I wanted to die because of what I did, but Medivh showed me a vision of why Antonidas kept me locked away for so many years.”

“And why is that?”

“He had a vision that my power would be greater than his, that I would rise up to kill him and take his place. He locked me away and the vision still came true.”

Lothar took a step back, then another.

“Lothar, wait.”

“I can’t. I’m not the person who deals with evil wizards and curses and visions foretelling doom. I don’t want to be a part of that life. I’m a foot soldier.”

“I want to be like you,” Khadgar protested. “I want to be normal. I want to travel and see things and learn things without the burden of magic in my life. I don’t want to be Antonidas’ slave even after his death. Please, Anduin.”

“I can’t. Maybe some time in the future, but I can’t do it now, knowing that you have a grander future in store. Train with Medivh. We’ll talk some other time.”

Lothar emerged from the doors of Karazhan, never to look back again.


End file.
